When is that we stop being children? When is that we stop yearning for the little things in life which gave us the “evil” smiles and the “puppy dog” looks? The answer you are looking for is never. Its been a year now since I left college, 5 years since I left school and a million years ago I had abandoned what was and is the best part of my life – Infanthood. But as I grow up I am beginning to ask myself the question, which is impossible to answer, a million times over –
What if time had stopped when…
…I had still been an infant and everyone would just fawn over every little detail of yours like your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, for God’s sake, even the little split bubble you let out so inconspicuously yet so jovially. Over the years in my life, when I have had trouble adjusting to the realities of the harsh world with “clichéd” words like “immature” and ”irresponsible” hang over my head like a giant signboard, I have longed for the days where I was still a baby in a cradle. I would listen to aunties and uncles and grandpas and grandmas cooing at me more often than not, I would look at million different faces and colours and things and still not be able to make head or tail of what I was looking at, I would be adorned in pretty like frocks and dresses. But the best would have to be when I bawl my eyes out for no reason and wait for my mom to pick me up and smother me in her warmth and sing to me till I eventually fall asleep in the nook of her arms or over her shoulders with my hands clutched tightly over saree folds. Sigh, those were the times.
…I had still been in my fifth grade when I had everyone I needed around me to play with, to talk to and to pat our backs with. Like Phoebe says “the politics and mind games” were just part of growing up and adorning the Monkey caps and walking around school just because a few notes were passed around was plain “enjoyment”. The joy of flunking in Geography eventhough you knew all the answers was “then” a feather in my cap. The fracture I showed off for 2 weeks was like showing off a diamond that I had unearthed on my own.
…I had stayed in my ninth grade where I ruled my class (literally) as the class rep. Soaked up all the attention our class teacher was giving us and setting sight on our favorite teacher to be for the very first time. I still remember getting caught on camera playing an innocent yet rather virulent game of “Running and Catching”. Oh the lectures we heard! But our ever so sweetest class teacher was by our side the whole time; giving us her much needed support and pampering. We had established several games of “paper-ball” cricket inside the class and despite being caught by an eagle eyed teacher from a “far off” building, we weren’t ready to give them up. The incidents where we sneaked in portable radios during tests when we could listen to cricket commentaries still remain fresh in my mind.
…when we realized how great we were as a team and how much things are gonna change when we move into the first separation phase of our lives, eleventh grade. I had to let many of my bonds go and embrace many new ones who I realized later where going to strengthen my beliefs and roots. Those endless “periodic table songs” and model tests and cycle tests and what not, frustrated us but we stuck by it and went on to the second phase of “separation” – College.
…before I said those horrible words to a very good friend, which I knew would hurt her inevitably but said it anyway. If I had a paise for everytime I wished I could take those words back, I would have raised quite a small fortune. But I kept making the same mistake over and over till I finally realized that some things are best left alone. “Tis for the best” – I consoled myself.
…when it rained all those hailstones. I could have just sat and listened to the pelt of the stones all day, breathing in the soothing scent of the rains on the fresh dirt. Those were the times when you wish you had the time and place where you could just curl up under the blanket with a hot cup of tea beside you and your favorite book over your head. More often than not, the time and place options are not very favoring. After my recent shift to Mumbai, forget pleasant rains, I don’t get to curl up or drink tea or read my favorite book or do all 3 together cuz I find myself drenched from head to toe from the raging monsoons and end up taking a hot shower and sleeping through the rains only to wake up to go to work the next morning.
…when the clock struck 12 at midnight on my birthday when I was still in college. My phone would be on the buzz ever so continuously flooding with calls and messages from my loved ones wishing me on my bday. These days, I dread my bday coming up in about a month. That’s the day I feel the loneliest, so far away from friends and family. Sigh!
…when we finished our final year project and waited around to scribble nothings on each others’ shirts and overcoats. We never realized how hard it would for us to meet afterwards, never realized how much we were gonna miss each other. The fun lasted a whole day and it was hard to digest that the place we had gone gotten up so early in the morning to go to, everyday (almost) for 4 years of our life, wasn’t expecting us the next day onwards. Took some time to sink in and for some of us, it still has not.
…when I got my silver medal as THE proof that I had beaten my brother’s records for academics in college. That very moment I was beaming with pride and joy and what not. A little sad that I had missed my dream of getting a gold medal by points yet so very ebullient that I could just scream. The photo sessions afterward where I proudly showed off and “scene vittufied” my silver medal and “two certificates”.
I could just go on and on with this. But my point is, there are a lot of things in life that give us simple pleasures. Treasure them cuz there are a lot of times we would wish we could re do them from time to time. Its quite easy to say this but we must learn to put them into practice. I am not trying to preach, dudes and dudettes. Let it sink, mull it over, stew this thought in your brains and hey, it might make you see things in a different perspective. I know I did, Live in the moment you guys. Cheers!!
